


Decades later (it all makes sense)

by softalex



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, Fluff, based on a tweet, kid!Alex, kid!maggie, literal Baby gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-18 15:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9391043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softalex/pseuds/softalex
Summary: A conversation about gay childhood memories leads to Alex and Maggie realising something.When Alex Danvers was 7, she had a crush on a girl at her school. She didn't know how to deal with her emotions so she just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'.When Maggie Sawyer was 6, her crush broke her heart with a note that said 'get out of my school.'Based on a tweet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> based on this tweet: https://twitter.com/lindzeta/status/291059549841022976

It was a late afternoon, and Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer were cuddled into each other on the couch in Alex’ apartment.  
They were dressed in comfortable pyjamas’ and had fuzzy animal print socks on their feet.  
  
The taller brunette laid on the couch, arms comfortably wrapped around her girlfriend from behind.  
She ran her fingers through the woman’s soft hair. Maggie’s head rested on the chest of her soft pyjama wearing girlfriend.

On the table in front of them stood two nearly finished cups of Earl Grey tea.  
They were currently sharing childhood memories. _Gay_ childhood memories. Maggie held her girlfriend’s calloused hand as she listened to her.

 

“These random things I used to do or feel just make so much more sense now, you know?” Alex explained.

“I’m pretty sure I had a crush on a girl when I was seven. Seven, Maggie!” The FBI agent exclaimed, crinkling her nose. “Yet somehow I thought I was straight until I was almost thirty!”

 

It felt surreal to Alex Danvers, but if anyone had asked what her sexuality was at the beginning of last year, she would have, without a second thought, replied ‘straight’.  
She might have even thrown in the ever-heterosexual ‘Duh? Of course I’m straight’ attitude.

If someone were to ask her now, she would force down a massive grin and reply ‘gay’.

 

Maggie chuckled lovingly. Her features softened in reminiscence of a long forgotten memory.

"I kind of had my first crush when I was that age. I also had my first heartbreak then, I guess.” Shutting her eyes, she tried to remember more.

 

Alex tightened her grip around her girlfriend’s hand. “Heartbreak? Damn, Sawyer.” 

“Shut up, Danvers.” Maggie retorted and grabbed a pillow, attempting to throw it on her girlfriend.  
It missed, and knocked down one of the cups on the table.

The smaller woman repositioned them so that Alex was the one lying in Maggie’s arms. “I want to hear about your gay memory though. Spill.”

 

Alex groaned, embarrassing details coming back to her. “God it was awful. I was awful.”

 

She sighed, relaxing into Maggie’s warmth.  
“There was this girl at my school who I had the biggest crush on. Back then I had no idea that's what I felt, but looking back I was clearly head over heels. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I was convinced that I disliked her.” Alex retold, things falling more into place as she said it out loud.

 

“I couldn’t even talk to her properly because I was so nervous around her. Sometimes I would literally _run_ away."

 

Alex turned around, burying her face in her girlfriend's neck to hide from the shame.

  
"A pretty girl talked to me, and I ran away. That is so gay! _How_ have I not realised this earlier?” Her voice became shrill as the gay panic seeped through.

Maggie squeezed Alex' hand and dropped a kiss on her head. Her other hand trailed up and down the the woman’s side, tracing random patterns.

“Baby, relax. It’s okay that you didn’t figure it out until recently. There’s nothing wrong with that, okay? You know it now, and that’s valid.”  
Alex tilted her head upwards to catch her girlfriend's gaze. She gently pressed her lips against Maggie's chin, humming softly.

 

“I haven’t even gotten to the worst part." Alex closed her eyes, and continued retelling her memories.  
"I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings for this girl, so I wrote a note that just said ‘Get out of my school’ and left it in her drawer at school.” Alex shook her head at the antics of seven year old Alex Danvers.

 

“Somehow I got caught and was in so much trouble after that. Fortunately for my fragile ego we actually ended up moving not so long after that because my Mom was offered a new job.” Alex paused, feeling how the body beneath her had stiffened. She heard an audible gasp.

 

“No way.” Maggie whispered.

 

Alex frowned “Maggie, what’s wrong?” She sat up to face her girlfriend properly.

  
Maggie got up on her knees, leaning forward and grabbing the confused woman’s hands. “You didn’t happen to go to Bonham Elementary School when this happened?” She asked, an eager gaze boring right into the other’s eyes.

 

She gaped, slack-jawed. Tilting her head to the side, her lips curved upwards as realisation started to hit her. She had never mentioned this particular detail to Maggie. “How did you know that–”

 

“Alex, babe, you fucking wrote me that note.” Maggie interrupted the perplexed woman with a grin.

 

“No way!” Alex loosely slapped the detective’s shoulder, unintentionally mirroring her earlier whisper.

She eyed the woman suspiciously. “You told me you grew up in Nebraska!”

 

Maggie flashed an enigmatic smile, her fingers steepled and eyebrows raised.  
“I only lived in San Antonio for about a year, so I usually forget to mention it. I moved back to the good old Blue Springs again after that.”

 

Sheepishly, the FBI agent bit her lip and leant back, slowly taking in the information.  
She froze as she recalled something Maggie had mentioned earlier.

 

“You said that you had your first heartbreak around then.” She exhaled in disbelief, chuckling softly.

 

“Maggie; did I break your heart?”

 

Maggie couldn’t help but to laugh at her girlfriend’s expression.

She took her girlfriends hands into her own. “Your note made six-year-old Maggie cry.”

She laughed, shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation.

 

Alex wrapped her arms around the dark haired woman, still grinning in amazement.  
“Sometimes when I was a kid I’d remember the note and feel so mean for leaving it.”

She dropped a kiss on the woman’s forehead. Alex cupped her cheeks and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m sorry Maggie, I’ll never tell you to get out of my school again.”

  
Their lips connected in a series of soft kisses, interrupted by laughter and whispered phrases like ‘What are the fucking odds?’ and ‘I genuinely can’t believe this?’

 

“Wasn’t that kind of the first thing you said to me when we met as adults too, though?” The detective smirked, resting her chin between her thumb and index finger.

“I remember it being something in the lines of ‘Get out of my crime scene’. Right, babe?”

 

Alex pouted at her girlfriend. “To be fair, that _was_ actually my crime scene. The school wasn’t mine.”

Maggie rolled her eyes at the statement. Damn feds. “Sure, Danvers, whatever you say."


	2. Alex feels a big feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how american schools work, logistically and what it's like with rules and after school care.
> 
> All of this is drawn from my experience with school in Sweden. Just play along.

Alex was only in first grade for a week before the teachers transferred her to second grade. The young girl was ecstatic. Her peers, however, regarded her with scepticism. Due to her age, and having skipped first grade, one of her classmates had even said outright that she did not belong there.

 

Later that year, she acquired the nickname ‘bug girl’ in an unfortunate attempt at making friends. Her mother had spoken with the parents of two kids in her grade, and invited them over. They were not particularly eager to hang out with Alex in the first place, and when she showed them the insects she collected to experiment on, they ran away in disgust and terror. Everyone in her grade looked at her funnily the next day. Alex was glad she hadn’t showed them her collection of animal bones.

 

Despite her lack of friends, she wasn’t actually shy. She could talk to people if she wanted to, but most of the time they did not seem interested in her. She liked school and liked learning, both of which she was able to spend time on with few repercussions.

 

In third grade, things changed. One of the new first graders showed genuine interest in Alex, interest which did not diminish after being told what Alex was doing.

 

“I’m looking for bugs.” She hesitantly explained, eyes traversing the grass in search for an elusive beetle.

Alex was at the receiving end of a toothy grin. “Can I help?” The younger girl pulled up her sleeves, seeming to already have started looking for bugs.  
  
  


Alex was not shy; Maggie came into the picture and changed things drastically. Suddenly, she was nervous and scared to talk to someone.

When she tried to speak to Maggie her face felt warm and her throat grew thick. On several occasions, when approached by the small yet terrifying six year old, Alex ran away and hid. Maggie thought they were playing, but she could never find Alex after she took off like that.  
  


Alex hoped the girl would eventually leave her alone and that her nervosity would dwindle as she grew used to Maggie. Unfortunately the other child would not stop trying to befriend Alex.

The tall seven year old couldn’t stand it. Whenever she was near Maggie, it felt as though butterflies, no, a swarm of angry bats, raced around in her stomach.

Everything about the first grader bothered her, from the pretty braids in her hair to the radical light up heelies on her feet. (She wanted a pair just like those)

 

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Maggie queried once; it was more of a statement than a question.

 

Alex wanted to yell, ‘Yes I do! But I can’t because you do something to me and it’s terrible!’, instead she forced a distraught smile. “Y-yeah. Uh. Sorry.”

 

Maggie responded with a beaming grin; pointed out that Alex had nothing to be sorry about, and reached for the third grader’s hand.  
  
Alex recoiled from the touch, as though she had been burnt. The six year old quirked her head to the side, looking at her friend with a quizzical expression before shrugging. Maggie took her hand once more; Alex accepted the situation with a defeated sigh, the corners of her mouth turning slightly upwards as she took in the feeling of the girl's hand.

Holding Maggie’s hand _was_ kind of nice; it felt soft and warm. She was utterly terrified.

 

It continued like this for months. Maggie distracting Alex and occupying most of her mind by just _being_ there; by being _her_.

The first grader always greeted her with lopsided smiles, and warm hugs that made her knees weak and breath shallow.

 

She didn’t want to use strong words, but Alexandra Danvers had decided that she _clearly_ disliked Maggie.

Why else would she feel so much around the girl. Her limbs wobbled and bewildering discomfort kept her on constant edge when she was close.

She disliked Maggie, could absolutely not stand her. That is what she was feeling. Dislike.

Even though she disliked the girl, when she actually did leave Alex alone and played with people other than her, Alex almost felt angry. She pouted and huffed in jealousy at the sight of Maggie laughing and having fun with other children.

She wanted her attention — but when Maggie called her over, to come join them, Alex wanted to run and hide.  

* * *

The Danvers girl was naturally defensive, especially of people she cared about. 

  
Despite the established dislike, she quickly jumped in to defend Maggie when a boy in Alex’ class had arrogantly told Maggie that she couldn’t dress as a police officer for halloween because she was a girl.

Her face contorted in a deep frown.  Straightening her back, she placed her hands on her sides.

  
“That’s not true at all. There are girl cops, Bradley.” Alex sneered at the tall buffoon, crossing her arms. 

“People dress up as monsters and fairies; all sorts of made up figures. I’m not seeing you bully them!” Maggie nodded in silent agreement at this, crossing her arms to mimic Alex' body language. Both girls glared at Bradley Fritz.

Brad the brat was one of the boys who thought it was cool to torment girls just because they were girls. There was no valid reason to torment anyone, Alex thought, but his basis was just absurd. He even believed in cooties, despite Alex having scientifically proved to his entire squad of buttheads that there was no such thing.

They were in third grade, and here he was attacking a first grader. Her fists clenched in contempt. 

She remembered his snide remarks when Alex started second grade; telling her she did not ‘belong there’ because she was ‘supposed’ to be in first grade. As if it was a bad thing that Alex was advanced enough to find first grade agonisingly underwhelming. She was smart, and her parents taught her to never apologise for that.

She turned to Maggie with a tight lipped smile.

“Don’t listen to him. You will make an awesome police officer!” Alex stammered, tongue-tied the moment she met the younger girl's glance. The thankful smile she received in response made her stomach churn. Too flustered to notice, Alex failed to register the blush that crept up Maggie’s neck and flushed her cheeks. 

* * *

 

Since that incident a few weeks ago, Maggie started to pay Alex even more attention, sitting next to her during lunch, and even asking her to play after school. Alex shuddered at the thought of having to be alone with Maggie.

She could barely talk to her _in_ school; the mere thought of seeing Maggie outside school made the seven year old quake in her new light up Heelys. (She may have asked her mother for a pair, because she liked Maggie’s. She did not like Maggie,)

 

She sneaked back inside, most children and teachers were out in the rain playing. She was going to write a letter intended to rid her of the is problem once and for all.

Her small hand wrapped around her sharpie in a determined grip. The marker was lime green; Alex had seen enough of Dexter’s Laboratory and Ghostbusters to know that lime green meant bad, poison, slime, gross. All things perfect to scare someone off.

 

She put effort into keeping her handwriting as neat as possible; this was a serious letter. 

 

Once finished, she capped the marker and examined the finished note. She let out a contemplating hum and tilted her head to the side. Uncapping the marker once more, Alex added an exclamation point to the end of the note. After a moment of hesitation, she added another one; for good measure. Now she just had to deliver the letter to _the girl_.

 

Her inner monologue put emphasis on ‘the girl’ as though it were the name of a gruesome monster in a ghost story. In all honesty, Maggie genuinely did scare Alex more than any of the ghost stories she had read.

It had to be known that Alex once read a book titled ‘Super Scary Ghost Stories for Brave Middle Schoolers’ with the text **‘** NOT 4 KIDZ!’ decorating the bottom of its cover. The backside of the book said you absolutely had to be at least thirteen to read the book.

She was almost seven when she finished the entire book, an eternity away from middle school. Given her advanced knowledge of ghost stories, the now seven and-a-half year old knew exactly what she talked about when assessing that this girl frightened her more than all the ghost stories in the world.

 

She glanced down at the piece of paper as she neared the bureau with Maggie's drawer. She placed the letter right next to a green apple.

With quick steps she hurried out of the school, Heelys shedding dirt on the floor with the impact of her steps. The note was secure, now she just had to wait. 

  
Preoccupied with the thrill from her actions, she did not notice that there was someone in the hallway when she rushed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will feature maggie's pov when she finds the note. it might also feature Eliza getting a call from Alex' teacher.
> 
> light up heelys actually exist and these are the ones i can see maggie and alex wearing https://www.skatehut.co.uk/brands/heelys_1/heelys_x2_bolt_light_up_black_yellow_caution.htm
> 
> ps: when my brother was 5 he collected animal skeletons. he had an entire mouse skeleton. fucking weirdo.


	3. Chapter 3

Maggie was hungry. She’d been playing cops and robbers for the past hour. Her dry mouth watered at the thought of munching on a delicious snack. She roamed through her backpack, body still aching from the physical activity. The worn out bag was mostly empty, containing only a few Pokémon cards, spare clothes, and the spelling homework she’d been given today. Her shoulders sagged in disappointment.

  
She was startled by the sound of running. Her head shot up, and she saw her friend – Alexandra – zipping past her in the corridor and out into the rain. She thought of greeting her friend, but a rumble in her stomach reminded her of other necessities. She recalled having left an apple in her drawer. Quickly, she untied her shoes and placed them on her shelf.

  
She noticed a trail of wet shoe prints on the floor. Her brows furrowed, for how long had those been there? It was far behind the tape marking the shoe limit, and students knew better than to cross that literal line, especially now that it’d been raining cats and dogs the past days. Maggie wished it could rain actual cats and dogs; she wanted a pet.

Channeling every Nancy Drew book her mother had read to her, she examined the footprint carefully. She couldn’t see where it ended.  
  
‘It’s still wet, so it has to be quite recent.‘, She thought, carefully following the marks without stepping in them.

  
She paused for a moment; the only person she’d seen come through recently was her very own friend.  
  
‘Lexi? That doesn’t make sense, she follows rules. She’s nice! At least the footprint isn’t too dirty.’, Maggie’s features were contorted in a firm and puzzled frown. The print reached its end right in front of the bureau with her drawer. Kids in Alex’ year had their drawers on the other side of the room. ‘What did she do over here?’  
  
  
Maggie dropped the thought as her stomach once again voiced its request to be fed. Opening her drawer, she picked up her apple and took a large bite. While chewing, the girl noticed a piece of unknown paper. Swallowing her bite, she placed the apple to the side and unfolded the piece of paper.

  
It was a note written with a lime green pen.

 

‘Get out of my school!’ the note said.

 

Maggie frowned. ‘What?’ She thought, scratching her head.

  
‘Get out of my school!’, the note still said, its letters practically yelling the content at her.

This was not a nice note, she could tell.

  
Who had– Alexandra. Her Lexi? Maggie’s lip quivered. She took a deep breath, crumpling the note slightly when she braced herself. She brushed a tear from her eye, firm and determined steps stomping off to her teacher. She hadn’t planned to tell on Alexandra for dragging dirt in. She wouldn’t even have told on Alexandra if she had taken Maggie’s apple.

  
This, however, this, had left Maggie feeling like someone had dumped a cold and dirty bucket of water on her.

  
Had she done something to make Alexandra not like her? She was just being friendly, nice, the way you’re supposed to be.   
Alexandra was cool, smart, interesting, fun to play with. She wouldn’t do something like this. But clearly she had.

  
Maggie spotted one of her favourite teachers playing games with one of the first graders and a few kindergarten kids.  
Most of the students were outside playing in the rain, but a handful stayed in, comfortable, dry, and warm. She hesitated getting the teacher’s attention for a moment, but luckily the teacher had already caught her eye.

She discreetly excused herself from the game, a chorus of groans erupting from the impatient group of kids. The teacher, Jackie Asante, smiled softly at Maggie. “What’s wrong?”

Maggie’s fist was still clenched around the piece of paper. Her breaths were irregular and tears welled in her eyes. Ms. Asante took Maggie’s hand and led her to a couch in another room.

Releasing her grip, she handed the note to her teacher with a small sniffle. Jackie hated seeing her kids upset. “Is this why you’re upset?” She inquired.

  
“Yeah… “ The small child’s voice quaked.

  
“What does it say?” Jackie probed. Although she could look at it and read what it said, she found it was meaningful to let the children express themselves first.   
Bottom lip trembling, Maggie whimpered. “L-Lexi…”

  
Her expression sobered as Miss Jackie placed a hand on her shoulder. “Lexi wrote me a mean note. See?” She unfolded the note and showed it to the teacher. “It says ‘get out of my school’, and, and I saw her running in the hallway and then there were wet footprints on the floor so I followed them all the way to my drawer, where I found the note! Alexandra crossed the shoe line and dragged dirt in!” Words finally stopped poring out of her mouth when she had to pause to take a breath.

  
Jackie nodded calmly, relieved that the issue was not too dire, but keeping a serious expression to validate the child’s feelings. “How does it make you feel?”

  
Maggie huffed. “Real sad! I want to be her friend but she doesn’t like me, she wants me to leave her school! Do I have to leave her school?” The child was suddenly worried. She had only been at this school for half a year. What if Alexandra, who had been here much longer, could decide that she wasn’t allowed here anymore?

  
The teacher shook her head, curly hair bouncing with her movement. “Absolutely not, dear. This is your school too. Now, why is it that you are so sure that Alexandra would write this note? You said you didn’t actually see her write it or put it in your drawer. ” Jackie didn’t particularly doubt that no one other than the Danvers’ child was responsible for the note, but she wanted to know why Maggie, who was always gushing and blushing about the older girl, would be so certain that said girl had written this note.

  
She certainly had her own suspicions, however.

  
Maggie looked down. “I dunno. It’s just, she was running and her footprint went up to my drawer. But also, she’s kind of.. a bit weird sometimes?” The child hadn’t thought of it much, but there were some things about Lexi that were very strange. “Sometimes when we are talking, she runs away. Or she won’t look at me when I talk to her. It makes sense that she doesn’t want me here anymore. My brother says I can be annoying sometimes.”

  
Jackie Asante’s expression softened as the child spoke, her suspicions now, more or less, fully confirmed. Perhaps it was because of her own experience with liking women, that she found it easy to see that the precious and bright third grader, Alexandra Danvers, ‘like-liked’ her younger peer, and had no idea how to process this.

  
Had Alexandra been a boy, there was no doubt other teachers would label it young love, and drop the ever bothersome excuse: ‘He did it because he likes you!’ on Maggie, and leave it at that.

  
Jackie couldn’t disagree more with that mindset. Regardless of age, liking someone was never an excuse to hurt their feelings. Kids pushing other kids, pulling their hair, throwing sand in their face, because they didn’t know how to process their own emotions, was not acceptable in any way.

  
She placed her hands on each of the girls shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “None of this is your fault, Maggie, you hear me?” The small child nodded slightly. “You haven’t done anything wrong, and Alexandra upset you with this note, correct?” The first grader nodded. “Uh-huh. Is.. Is Lexi gonna be in trouble?” She furrowed her brows in worry and contemplation.

“I am going to talk to her, because she needs to know that this was not okay, is that fine with you?”

Maggie nodded.

“I will also tell both your and her parents, as well as her teacher, what happened. Do you know if Alexandra is still at school?” Ms. Asante inquired.

“I think her mom already picked her up, sorry.” The girl flashed an apologetic smile. “It’s fine, kiddo. Do you want to come and play board games until your parents pick you up?”

Maggie grinned for the first time since she had found her friend’s(?) note.

Jackie Asante took the child’s hand and led her back to the table, where the gaggle of children erupted in cheerful chatter and exclamations upon their teacher’s return.


End file.
